When it comes to struggling with codependency, do you know how to form healthier relationships? Here are five steps you can take to help you form positive, balanced relationships.
- Get Help.
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” – James 5:16.
If you struggle with codependency, individual and group therapy is very important to help you heal.A Christian counselor can help you find ways to acknowledge and express your feelings that may have been buried since childhood. By talking about your struggles and confessing your sins, you’re taking the first step toward healing.
- Be honest.
“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” – Ephesians 4:15.
Trying to rescue or change your partner not only wastes your time and energy, but it also creates resentment. Be honest in your communication and speak the truth in expressing your needs and desires. It’s important for you to learn to express your feelings in a relationship.
- Change priorities.
“You must not have any other god but me.” – Exodus 20:3.
God never intended for your life to revolve around another person; instead, put God first and worship Him alone. Make your relationship with God a priority. And try to find your own and activities you enjoy away from your partner. As a recovering codependent, you must decide that you’re not bailing someone out. The right thing to do is to let other people experience the consequences of their actions.
- Establish boundaries.
“Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’’or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” – Matthew 5:37.
If you struggle with codependency, you’ll probably have trouble establishing boundaries. After all, you may not know where your needs begin and where your partner’s ends. You may even feel guilty and bad when someone gets upset because you didn’t put their needs before your own. But by learning to say no and set limits with others, you’ll learn how to value and protect yourself.
- Practice self-care.
“The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.” – Mark 12:31.
As you’re working to break free from codependency, it may seem as if you’re selfish and unfair when you’re looking out for yourself. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Taking care of our own needs is not selfish. You alone are responsible for your own needs.
God will provide a way for your healing, and you will learn how to have healthy relationships! Begin this process today and know that it will take time to learn a new way of being in relationships.
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”–Galatians 6:4-5, The Message.