Substitute a New Behavior for Eating

Substitute a New Behavior for EatingHealing and recovery are often progressive because it requires changes in a person’s character and actions. The way to cope with emotional pain must change if the decision is to no longer eat (drink, or any other addictive reaction) through the pain.

Keeping a record of what one does when one becomes emotionally upset is an excellent way to watch progress occur, perhaps in a journal. The journey to finding new alternatives to eating might look like this: “I received an upsetting phone call from my ex. This made me feel hurt, so I went to the refrigerator and opened the door to eat.” Now, think of a new way to cope with that feeling. What could be a substitute for eating? One recommendation is calling a friend to pray. Here’s another example: “I heard someone gossip about me at church. This made me feel angry, so I stopped for fries at a fast-food restaurant.” A good alternative would be to gently confront the person who did the gossiping rather than feed the feelings. (more…)

Recovering Accountability

Recovering AccountabilityWhat’s one of the biggest challenges in trying to overcome addiction? It’s when the person suffering from addiction believes they know what is best for themselves. So, they detach from others because they don’t want anyone telling them what to do. As a result, they continue blindly down the same road of destruction that brought them under the power of dependency.

To get off the road to destruction, a person must recover accountability in their lives. The Webster’s Dictionary defines accountability as: “the quality or state of being held accountable: an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one’s actions.” In other words, it involves a willingness to be held accountable to an expressed outcome—purity and integrity.

Accountability is when individuals struggling with addiction and dependency connect to others so they can fight against something that, at least for a moment, is more powerful than they are. Ultimately, it provides support in a battle to be fought together. (more…)

Elements of Building Strong Friendships

Elements of Building Strong FriendshipsWhat are some of the elements of building a solid friendship?

Strong friendships withstand the test of time and are authentic. One must take down their mask that hides their true self from others. A relationship that is real includes both a person’s strengths and weaknesses. It’s essential to be open, vulnerable, honest, and sincere with others. And share struggles with a friend. When individuals share their struggles with grace-filled friends, they find that they accepted regardless of their faults, and they experience the joy of acceptance.

Friendships do not happen automatically—they must be cultivated. It’s easy to lose friends by neglecting to stay in touch with them. Spending time together is required; as often as possible, keep in touch with each other. Make the phone call or text to initiate getting together with each other. After all, friends are committed and devoted to one another.While it is a natural tendency to withdraw from others, it can often become unhealthy. Taking a break from people is fine occasionally, but isolation is deadly. Remember, solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments devised by mankind. (more…)

Correction vs. Connection: Which One is More Important?

Correction vs. ConnectionWhich One is More Important?What will a person battling addiction do to stop using? The first thing they may do is try to correct their behavior. Therefore, they will white-knuckle it, try another weight loss program, read self-help books, or turn to another addiction.

Most programs, self-help methods, and diets often only focus on one thing: correction. While correcting behavior is very important—including lifestyle changes getting enough rest, exercising, and growing spiritually—very few focus on the one key element that needs to occur for all the other steps: connection!

Without connection with other people, it is almost impossible for anyone battling an addiction to change their daily routine behaviors that have become rituals and patterns. Connection is more important than correction because it brings accountability, support, awareness, and growth and deepens a person’s relationship with God and others. (more…)

How to Calm Anger

How to Calm AngerWhenever a disappointment in life remains unresolved, a thin layer of pain is formed over the heart. Over time, and as more and more layers of pain are added, the heart grows heavier and harder. Eventually, a person ends up with a heart of stone.

Anyone or anything that attempts to penetrate its exterior is met with harsh, cold rage. These disappointments range in size—from smaller  ones, such as a mom forgetting to give their child a promised ice cream cone, to larger ones like a dad telling a child that he is ashamed of them and wished you had never been born.

But even after a lifetime of mismanaged disappointments that have turned into anger, there’s hope to calm anger.

The actual object of anger must be confirmed. Most of the stuff that creates anger isn’t what a person is furious about. Those are just the triggers that set in motion the wheels of angry behavior. A driver might falsely accuse some out-of-control motorist of their anger when, in fact, it often goes much deeper than that. (more…)