When limits are imposed on a person, they may feel suffocated by their lack of choices or feel that they are losing their sense of individuality. For someone struggling with addiction, this concept is especially true. Someone who struggles with alcohol addiction, for example, does not want their choice to drink taken away from them. In fact, their physical body, along with their emotional state, has become so dependent on alcohol to deal with life that they feel like they have no other options but to continue the cycle of addiction.
After a while, many of those caught in this cycle begin to understand that using more of a substance to deal with life has stopped working. But they have to come to this perspective shift for themselves. People looking in from the outside, even with good intentions, will not be able to create a set of rules that will stop someone’s addictive habits, no matter how destructive they may be. (more…)
A person in recovery from addiction tends to experience feelings more intensely. Why? Now that they are no longer medicating their feelings with drugs, alcohol, or fantasy, they are fragile. They’re more acutely aware of their own painful feelings rather than the pain they’ve inflicted upon others. It’s not a surprise, then, when they move on too quickly. Expecting others to trust them too soon is unrealistic—trust is to be earned and takes time.
So, individuals in recovery need to remember the years of pain, deceit, broken promises, and hardships created in their addiction. These events have hurt their loved ones more than they realize. Their loved ones require support throughout the healing process. No one can fix their loved ones or undo the damage they have done. But through recovery, there is an opportunity for healing in relationships. (more…)
Grief can be misunderstood by many. But the most important truth about grief is that the grieving process is not going to end all of the pain. It can be devastating to lose a person who is very significant in someone’s life. People can also go through a loss of the way they view themselves or the way other people are going to view them.
When Steve Arterburn, founder of New Life Ministries, went through a divorce, he experienced a great deal of loss. In his grieving, he had to address his insecurity and fear of the future. But more than anything, it was the loss of a safe and intact home for his 12-year-old daughter that hurt him.
While he describes his sadness as feeling different now than it did then, he acknowledges that it’s still there. (more…)
Part of what can make a tempting situation worse is the condition of one’s mental and physical state when stressors occur. It is common for tempting situations to occur with more intensity at the early onset of sobriety, along with when someone is physically or mentally drained. And this can seem more intense because sobriety is the healthiest option regardless of what has occurred. It is easy to get tired of recovery—but don’t give up!
Here are some options to consider to help when a person is tired of fighting this fight and wants to just give up because of the stressors of life.
Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” A person must ground themselves spiritually. Do not rush through prayer. (more…)