On the Other Side of the Father Wound

On the Other Side of the Father WoundMuch has been said about the “Father Wound.” That is, the effect a poor relationship with Dad can have on a person’s future. On the one hand, I can say without hesitation it’s all true. If there is one single element, I’ve found in common among those I’ve counseled, it’s the “Father Wound.” And yet, now that I’m facing the challenges inherent in fathering a son, I’m painfully aware of the other side of the story.

It was so easy to talk about what fathers should or shouldn’t be. I was new to the game, the proud stepfather of a lovably energetic five-year-old boy. Huge mistakes, mostly mine, hadn’t yet been made. His adolescence was years off, so our days were playful, and I was his hero. No wonder it was so easy for me to look critically at older fathers. I was determined never to become one.

Since then, the boy I loved has become the man who’s forgiven me. (more…)

8 Tips When Your Adult Child Struggles With Addiction

8 Tips When Your Adult Child Struggles With AddictionDoes your adult son or daughter struggle with addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or something else? Then, no doubt, you’re concerned for their physical and emotional well-being. You’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work. Unfortunately, your relationship with them is getting worse. Is there any hope? Yes! Here are some tips:

1. Stop Living in Denial. Often, as parents, it’s easier to stay in denial rather than face reality. Pretending it’s not happening will hurt you, your child, and your entire family. Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) reminds us, “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!(more…)

Helping Your Millennial Learn to Adult

Helping Your Millennial Learn to Adult
Let’s face it.  More and more adult children are moving back home.

In fact, 1 in 3 adult children, ages 25- to 34-years-old, live at home according to the Census Bureau.  Out of the millennials who live at home, 1 in 4 don’t work or go to school.  In other words, 2.2 million millennials live at their parents’ home without making any progress to become an adult.

But millennials aren’t the only ones with problems.

Instead of letting their kids take responsibility for their lives, some parents try to rescue them.  But the more times they rescue their adult child, the harder it will be for their adult child to grow up. (more…)

How to Keep Your Kids from the Entitlement Trap

  1. Be clear on the desired outcome
    The truth is, you—as the parent—teach your child how they can and can’t treat you and others, and what is acceptable behavior.  Although you can’t control them like a puppet, your goal is to train and help them grow into a mature, responsible adult with strong character traits.
  1. Be kind
    Being kind to your child will model for them how to treat others in a way that is loving, not demanding or demeaning.  There will be plenty of frustrating and trying times as you are raising your child.  When you feel like you are at your wits end, give yourself a time out. Ask for help in the struggle.


The ABC’s of Navigating Child Custody During the Holidays

Have you gone through a divorce and have kids?  Are you a single parent who struggles with getting along with your ex?  If so, then your kids may feel torn in two different directions.  On top of that, the stress of the holidays often brings out the worst in these situations.

You don’t want your kids to feel like pawns in a chess game. So, what can you do?  Here are the ABC’s to avoiding fighting over who gets the kids at Christmas.

Always Follow the Parenting Plan
The first step is to use a legal parenting plan.  What if you don’t have one?  Get one—start by contacting an attorney. Take the necessary steps to creating a legal child custody agreement. If your children aren’t safe with the other parent, take legal steps to keep them safe. (more…)

How to Help Your Teen Resist the Lure of Porn

Research shows the average age of exposure to porn is now as young as 8.

As a parent, you have two options: Bury your head in the sand or  prepare your son or daughter to resist.

Your child needs a good dose of attention, love, and affection from you.  But when those basic needs aren’t met, they’ll look for love in the wrong places.  Since you’re their primary role model, modeling biblical principles yourself will give them a good example to follow.

A good place to start is by creating an ongoing dialogue with your children about sex and spirituality.  (more…)