6 Steps to Recovery From Abuse

6 Steps to Recovery From Abuse

  1. Decide to get help.
    Realizing that a relationship is abusive can be frightening. But deciding to reach out and get help is the first step to healing and transformation. Contact a Christian counselor and begin the process of recovery. Call 800-NEW-LIFE to find a counselor.
  2. Gain understanding and insight.
    It can be confusing for an individual to be the victim of abuse when in a relationship with someone who was supposed to love them. Whether the abuser is a parent or partner, the pain is so great that it can be challenging to be in a healthy relationship. Beginning to know what a loving and healthy relationship consists of is crucial to moving forward in life. It is possible to be in a good relationship after an abusive one, but one must know the difference. Read Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend to discover new insight. (more…)

Elements of Building Strong Friendships

Elements of Building Strong FriendshipsWhat are some of the elements of building a solid friendship?

Strong friendships withstand the test of time and are authentic. One must take down their mask that hides their true self from others. A relationship that is real includes both a person’s strengths and weaknesses. It’s essential to be open, vulnerable, honest, and sincere with others. And share struggles with a friend. When individuals share their struggles with grace-filled friends, they find that they accepted regardless of their faults, and they experience the joy of acceptance.

Friendships do not happen automatically—they must be cultivated. It’s easy to lose friends by neglecting to stay in touch with them. Spending time together is required; as often as possible, keep in touch with each other. Make the phone call or text to initiate getting together with each other. After all, friends are committed and devoted to one another.While it is a natural tendency to withdraw from others, it can often become unhealthy. Taking a break from people is fine occasionally, but isolation is deadly. Remember, solitary confinement is one of the worst punishments devised by mankind. (more…)

Making Amends With Family

Making Amends With FamilyWhen someone is in recovery, how do they begin to restore relationships of those hurt by their addiction? Life Recovery Step 8 says, We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” Making amends is a requirement in recovery. Yet, the person offended can choose to accept or reject the amends and restore the relationship.

Remember the Parable of the Prodigal Son? When the prodigal son moved home, he had to make amends. He left home to find his freedom and hurt his family as he made this choice. He didn’t handle that kind of freedom well, though, and “he wasted all his money in wild living” (Luke 15:13, NLT).

No doubt, as the prodigal son headed back home, he rehearsed what he would say. He may have identified what sins he had committed against God and his family, then he confessed it. Finally, because of his betrayal, he saw his unworthiness, an accurate picture of himself. It was no longer about him; he no longer cared just about himself. He was ready now to see the reality of his condition. (more…)

10 Tips For Dating After Addiction

10 Tips For Dating After AddictionAre you in recovery? Would you like to date but don’t want it to be a disaster? It is possible to develop a healthy dating life after addiction. Here are 10 tips that could help:

  1. Wait to Date.
    Let’s say you just started recovery and are lonely. You think getting into another relationship will help you. It’s easy to become addicted to the “high” of a new relationship. So, it’s best to wait at least a year after you’ve started a recovery program and have started your sobriety.
  2. Put Your Recovery First.
    Now that you’ve been sober for a year or longer, you may be tempted to set your recovery aside. (more…)

Become Your Own Decider

Become Your Own DeciderI refuse to believe the lie that I am stuck forever. I exercise my freedom to choose to do the next best thing.” – Steve Arterburn

Do you make your own decisions? Or do you let others decide for you? God wants you to make decisions in your life. He gave you a mind to use; He wants you to look to Him for guidance. You should be your own decider—not other people.

As a child, your parents made decisions for you. But now as an adult, you have the right to make choices in life. God wants you to make your own decisions and to incorporate His will and plan in every aspect of your life, including relationships. And it will help if you realize two concepts. (more…)

Your Side of the Street

Your Side of the StreetEver look across the street and compare your neighbor’s lawn or house to yours?

No doubt you have—we all have. We look to find flaws in other people’s marriages, children, careers, and bodies. Even worse, we blame others for our addictions, broken relationships, failures, and . . . the list goes on and on.

Sound familiar?

Christ talked about the dangers of concentrating on other people’s faults when He said, “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye“(Matthew 7:5). (more…)