Making Amends With Family

Making Amends With FamilyWhen someone is in recovery, how do they begin to restore relationships of those hurt by their addiction? Life Recovery Step 8 says, We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.” Making amends is a requirement in recovery. Yet, the person offended can choose to accept or reject the amends and restore the relationship.

Remember the Parable of the Prodigal Son? When the prodigal son moved home, he had to make amends. He left home to find his freedom and hurt his family as he made this choice. He didn’t handle that kind of freedom well, though, and “he wasted all his money in wild living” (Luke 15:13, NLT).

No doubt, as the prodigal son headed back home, he rehearsed what he would say. He may have identified what sins he had committed against God and his family, then he confessed it. Finally, because of his betrayal, he saw his unworthiness, an accurate picture of himself. It was no longer about him; he no longer cared just about himself. He was ready now to see the reality of his condition. (more…)

10 Tips For Dating After Addiction

10 Tips For Dating After AddictionAre you in recovery? Would you like to date but don’t want it to be a disaster? It is possible to develop a healthy dating life after addiction. Here are 10 tips that could help:

  1. Wait to Date.
    Let’s say you just started recovery and are lonely. You think getting into another relationship will help you. It’s easy to become addicted to the “high” of a new relationship. So, it’s best to wait at least a year after you’ve started a recovery program and have started your sobriety.
  2. Put Your Recovery First.
    Now that you’ve been sober for a year or longer, you may be tempted to set your recovery aside. (more…)

Become Your Own Decider

Become Your Own DeciderI refuse to believe the lie that I am stuck forever. I exercise my freedom to choose to do the next best thing.” – Steve Arterburn

Do you make your own decisions? Or do you let others decide for you? God wants you to make decisions in your life. He gave you a mind to use; He wants you to look to Him for guidance. You should be your own decider—not other people.

As a child, your parents made decisions for you. But now as an adult, you have the right to make choices in life. God wants you to make your own decisions and to incorporate His will and plan in every aspect of your life, including relationships. And it will help if you realize two concepts. (more…)

Your Side of the Street

Your Side of the StreetEver look across the street and compare your neighbor’s lawn or house to yours?

No doubt you have—we all have. We look to find flaws in other people’s marriages, children, careers, and bodies. Even worse, we blame others for our addictions, broken relationships, failures, and . . . the list goes on and on.

Sound familiar?

Christ talked about the dangers of concentrating on other people’s faults when He said, “Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye“(Matthew 7:5). (more…)

7 Warning Signs of Gaslighting

7 Warning Signs of GaslightingWhat is gaslighting? It’s a form of emotional abuse where the perpetrator makes the victim feel as if they are losing touch with reality. The term originated in 1938 from the British play, Gaslight; and then with the film adaptation in 1944, which portrayed the story of a woman whose husband manipulated her into believing she was slowly going insane.

Gaslighting is subtle; a gaslighter uses their words to control. After all, words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue can bring death or life.”

Most people, however, don’t know they are victims of gaslighting. What about you? Would you know if someone were gaslighting you? Here are 7 warning signs: (more…)

Top 10 Traits of Unsafe People

Top 10 Traits of Unsafe PeopleAre you tired of attracting unsafe people? When you start to surround yourself with safe people, you will form healthier relationships. David put it this way, “Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers,” (Psalm 1:1).

If you want to attract safe people, you must take steps to become a safe person yourself. Also, you will need to identify whether someone is safe. To help you, here are the top ten traits of unsafe people. (more…)