12 Steps to Sexual Integrity

12 Steps to Sexual IntegrityYou want to have sexual integrity. But it’s not easy, is it? After all, if you struggle with compulsions and unhealthy habits, they will sabotage you and undermine your relationships. Healing is possible, however, if you examine your life and make some changes. God will help you move beyond sexual addiction to sexual integrity. Here are twelve steps you can take that will help you find freedom.

    1. Open our hearts to God’s power to free us from the grip of unhealthy sexual behaviors.
      Acknowledge you are powerless—realize God can accomplish what you can’t. “What is impossible for people is possible with God” (Luke 18:27).
    2. Allow God to restore our sexual sanity.
      Recognize how your sexual behaviors have been out-of-control, and look to God to restore control to your sexuality. “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life” (2 Pet. 1:3) (more…)

A Daughter’s Letter to Her Dad

Dear Dad,

I want to let you know first of all that I love you and forgive you for what this has done in my life. I also wanted to let you know exactly what your porn use has done to me. You may think that this affects only your and mom’s relationship. But it has had a profound impact on me and my siblings.

I found your porn on the computer around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman. First of all, it seemed very hypocritical to me that you were trying to teach me the value of what to let into my mind in terms of movies, yet here you were entertaining your mind with this. (more…)

Will She Ever Trust Me Again?

A question I often hear from married men is:I’ve admitted my sin, apologized to my wife, and tried to make it right. She says she forgives me, but can’t trust me. Will she ever trust me again?

Rebuilding trust is like rebuilding credit. It can be done, but only through a combination of time and consistency. So if broken trust is a challenge to your marriage, let me offer you three ideas on how to rebuild it.

First, get a solid structure put in place. A solid structure is a combination of accountability, daily prayer, Bible reading, and regular consultation with a pastor, mentor or Christian counselor. Find yourself a good men’s accountability group, or a good Christian therapist. (more…)

Pain and Pleasure

pain-pleasure-lrgDavid Sper writes in his book Designed for Desire, “The root of all sexual perversions and immorality begins with the desire to relieve one’s pain with pleasure.” It’s natural for us to be seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. So when pain doesn’t go away when we try to satisfy our cravings, we seek bigger and bigger pleasures to satisfy them, to override and erase our pain.

Every sin is the result of an appetite going astray and seeking fulfillment in something other than what God intended. First, we experience that something is missing inside. Then, we begin seeking ways to compensate for the void. This becomes especially destructive when we try filling an emotional or spiritual void with something physical.

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