The Loophole of Denial

The Loophole of DenialDenial is a loophole that leads a person stuck in addiction to avoid the light of God. Denial provides them a way of alleviating the stress of their shame by refusing to face it. Shame is an intense fear of being—it is a corrosive belief that one is fatally flawed, unlovable, and deserving of rejection from others who are deemed worthy and perceived as merciless all at once.

If a person with an unhealthy habit does not face the pain that their addiction has caused themselves and others, they will not confess or own up to it. As a result, they will continue to turn to their addiction to find momentary relief from the burden of their shame.

Shame, however, may allow a person struggling with addiction to focus attention on the welfare of God and others above their own. (more…)

8 Ways to Get Through the Holidays After a Loss

8 Ways to Get Through the Holidays After a LossWhen you’ve lost a loved one, you may feel as if the world has come to a crashing halt. Some days are hard, while other days aren’t so bad. The holidays, however, can be an especially difficult time as you see family and friends celebrating together. You may feel more lost and alone than ever before.

Here are eight ways to help you get through the holidays. (more…)

Facing the Truth

Facing the TruthHave you taken an inventory of your life? The purpose of taking an inventory of your life is to face the truth about yourself. Truth is the opposite of denial. By putting the truth in writing, you demonstrate that you are ready to break free from the patterns and behaviors of denial.

But taking an inventory isn’t easy. Facing the truth is painful because you must also face the reality of what you have lost in your life due to your shortcomings. It’s never easy to look at your deceits, abuses, shame, and disappointments. But even though this is a time of discomfort, know that the steps of recovery will lead you to humility and to live a life full of happiness. It may not feel that way as you work on your inventory, but those who have made the journey before you will testify to that truth.

When Jesus came to earth, He brought with Him “grace and truth” (John 1:14, ESV). Here’s how the New Living Translation puts it: (more…)

The Power of Acceptance in Recovery

Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today.” – Alcoholics Anonymous

Has reality sunk in?

If not, you might be out of touch. Are you wondering why your spouse has left and filed for a divorce? You tell yourself you don’t have a problem and so, you continue to drink.

If this sounds familiar, you are out of touch with reality. Acceptance of reality, after all, is the key to recovery from an addiction. What’s the opposite of acceptance? Denial. In denial, you’re unwilling to acknowledge the truth. In spite of many consequences, you continue to turn to your addiction. (more…)

Rebuilding the Bridge Called Trust

The old covered walking bridge across the Delaware River had stood for as long as anyone could remember. It connected the town of Portland, Pennsylvania with Columbia, New Jersey. One year during the spring, ice flows combined with a large amount of rain and the swollen river washed away part of the bridge and weakened what remained.

Trust between people is like a bridge built from both sides of a river. When it is built with care and careful planning, it will be durable — capable of weathering the storms of life. Occasionally it will need repair and require periodic maintenance; but individuals in a trusting relationship will feel safe putting a great deal of their emotional weight on the bridge — it’s where keeping one’s promises is expected; sensitive secrets divulged are carefully protected; and personal flaws and weaknesses are accepted. (more…)