If you have a family member who struggles with addiction, you may be tempted to take responsibility for them . . . don’t!
Truth is, you are only responsible for your choices—your loved one is responsible for theirs. One day we will all give an account to the Lord. Romans 14:12 says, “Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God.”
Just as you have the freedom to make your own choices, others have the freedom to make their choices. You give people freedom by not enabling them. It helps to understand the difference between enabling and helping.
What is enabling?
It’s doing for someone what they CAN do for themselves. (more…)
Does your adult son or daughter struggle with addiction to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, or something else? Then, no doubt, you’re concerned for their physical and emotional well-being. You’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to work. Unfortunately, your relationship with them is getting worse. Is there any hope? Yes! Here are some tips:
1. Stop Living in Denial. Often, as parents, it’s easier to stay in denial rather than face reality. Pretending it’s not happening will hurt you, your child, and your entire family. Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB) reminds us, “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!” (more…)
Some of us are in prison. Not a prison made of four walls, but the worst kind of prison–a self-made prison.
Our prisons are built decision by decision, habit by habit. They could be prisons of . . .
- Anger, shame, or other painful emotions
- Addictions or unhealthy habits
- Abusive and toxic relationships
In our prisons, we get too comfortable and stay there. Why?
Because (1) working through our past trauma of anger, shame, or other painful emotions is hard, so we avoid facing the pain. (more…)
Are you tired of attracting unsafe people? When you start to surround yourself with safe people, you will form healthier relationships. David put it this way, “Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers,” (Psalm 1:1).
If you want to attract safe people, you must take steps to become a safe person yourself. Also, you will need to identify whether someone is safe. To help you, here are the top ten traits of unsafe people. (more…)
From the moment we take our first breath, we need a healthy bond with our parents. When we are hungry, our parents feed us; and if we fall, they pick us up. This secure connection sets the stage for healthy relationships in the future. By having a secure attachment, we feel seen, heard, and understood.
As we get to be older, we go off to school and learn how to develop relationships with others. And at the end of the school day, we come back home to our parents and hopefully get our needs met. This bond gives us the stability to learn to separate from unhealthy people and relationships. It can also help us to develop boundaries.
What if we did not form a strong, healthy bond with our parents? (more…)