Life was smooth until addictions, habits, and unhealthy patterns came across our path. Then before we knew it, suddenly, the road became bumpy. We must be careful. As Proverbs 27:12 says, “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.”
To divert disaster, here are the warning signs that our life has become unmanageable.
1. Denying We Have a Problem.
“Denial keeps us from addressing the things we can change, causing us to think that our inability to change everything means we can’t change anything.”—Steve Arterburn
One of the biggest signs we have a problem is that we are living in denial. Yet, if we admit we have a problem and are willing to work through it, our admittance will propel us forward in recovery.
2. Blaming Others.
One way to see if our life is becoming unmanageable is whether we blame others. It’s easy for us to put responsibility for our problems onto other people, right? But there’s a better way: Admit that someone else’s huge, enormous, too-big-to-be-missed problems does not eradicate our need to deal with our issues. (more…)
It has been said that alcoholism is a family disease. Why? Alcoholism affects the entire family—everyone in the family needs to get help. If you have a family member who struggles with alcohol or drug addiction, is there a healthy way to respond to them? Yes, absolutely! You must understand family roles, and understand what your next step should be.
What Are the Family Roles?
In looking at families of addicts, there are different behavioral roles:
The Dependent: this is the alcoholic/addict in the family. He or she has the real problem.
The Chief Enabler: this role is typically taken up by a spouse (more…)
Is it hard for you to say no? If so, you may need to develop boundaries. Knowing how to say no and when to stand up for yourself can be extremely difficult, especially if you’ve been a people-pleaser in the past. It is like a muscle that needs to be built and exercised. To help you, here are some tips to learn to say no.
- Take Responsibility
You are responsible for your feelings. However, you’re not responsible for someone else’s feelings. If you feel you were not given a voice, you may feel responsible for how other people feel. And it might be hard for you to talk about your feelings. Start with someone you feel comfortable with, and practice disagreeing on small matters. This will help you gain confidence and understand how to own your truth. (more…)
It’s easy to ignore our issues. Like the disabled man in John 5 who waited for years by a pool to be healed, so we are looking for a magical cure to make us whole. But healing doesn’t come instantaneously. In fact, it takes hard work to stop reacting and turn to Christ who encourages us to “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk!” (John 5:8).
Let’s face it: Our issues are huge! However, we try to make ourselves feel better by saying that they’re small. Admit the truth, and you will be on the road to recovery. The Living Bible puts it this way: “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there,” (Jeremiah 6:14). (more…)
When it comes to struggling with codependency, do you know how to form healthier relationships? Here are five steps you can take to help you form positive, balanced relationships.
- Get Help.
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” – James 5:16.If you struggle with codependency, individual and group therapy is very important to help you heal. A Christian counselor can help you find ways to acknowledge and express your feelings that may have been buried since childhood. By talking about your struggles and confessing your sins, you’re taking the first step toward healing. (more…)