Much has been said about the “Father Wound.” That is, the effect a poor relationship with Dad can have on a person’s future. On the one hand, I can say without hesitation it’s all true. If there is one single element, I’ve found in common among those I’ve counseled, it’s the “Father Wound.” And yet, now that I’m facing the challenges inherent in fathering a son, I’m painfully aware of the other side of the story.
It was so easy to talk about what fathers should or shouldn’t be. I was new to the game, the proud stepfather of a lovably energetic five-year-old boy. Huge mistakes, mostly mine, hadn’t yet been made. His adolescence was years off, so our days were playful, and I was his hero. No wonder it was so easy for me to look critically at older fathers. I was determined never to become one.
Since then, the boy I loved has become the man who’s forgiven me. (more…)