It is God’s design for each person to be able to feel emotions and express them. Many people, however, never learned how to express their feelings on a deep level.
Why do some people numb their emotions rather than feel them? In their home growing up, children were probably seen rather than heard. Their parents did not help them process their feelings. Anger was met with rage, fear went unacknowledged, and there was plenty of shame to go around. So, they numbed their difficult emotions by turning to something like eating, shopping, watching pornography, or other things.
Does this sound familiar? Instead of numbing feelings, take out a journal and try the Comfort Circle exercise. (more…)
What is justifiable resentment? And more importantly, how can someone get rid of it in their life?
Real resentment over real damage by a real person produces is what is known as justifiable resentment. It becomes such a massive part of a person’s life that it feels like a vulture sitting on top of them—a dark and dangerous presence that affects everything they do.
If the resentment were not justifiable, another person could talk them out of it. A friend could tell them things like:
- “Stop being so negative.”
- “Look at the bright side of things.”
- “Be more positive.”
But none of those things apply to someone with justifiable resentment because they have a reason to be resentful. They were a victim; it was not their fault. Anyone who knows of their terrible ordeal supports their feelings of resentment. Yet, that is the problem because no one questions their feelings. (more…)
Is anger a sin? No, anger itself is not wrong. The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV). Although anger is not a sin, it’s a signal that calls you to action. It alerts you that something is wrong, and it gives you a desire to respond. Sometimes our response results in a sinful reaction. You’ll need to first look at the root cause of your anger.
Root Causes of Anger
Hurt is a root cause of anger. If someone hurts you, you get angry. Let’s say your significant other was having an affair. (more…)
We have all been there at one point in our lives. Our spouse, kids, boss, neighbor, or friend does or says something that upsets us, and all of a sudden, we feel the pressure begin to build. You start to feel tight around the collar like the dry cleaner put too much starch on it. Heat builds up around the ears, and you feel your face begin to flush. As you continue to think about the action or what was said, it increases. Your heart pounds, and life begins to go in slow motion. You can almost hear NASA control: “T-minus 10, 9, 8…”
What you do or say at this moment may affect the next few minutes, hours, days, or even years. (more…)