Shame and conviction are two different concepts, but they can be hard to differentiate. Shame can easily masquerade itself as a conviction. In addition, both produce powerful emotional reactions that result in changed behavior. Shame is a negative emotion that combines feelings of dishonor, unworthiness, and embarrassment, while true conviction is a firmly held belief or opinion. Knowing the difference is at the heart of the battle in dealing successfully with addiction. Therefore, it’s essential to understand where the resulting behaviors come out of shame and conviction lead.
In some ways, the effects of shame can be like the effects of erosion. Over the years, water can accumulate and create erosion. For example, the impact of corrosion on a dam is easy to see because the water can tear away the dam’s walls, making a small canyon for the water to escape through. (more…)
Is anger a sin? No, anger itself is not wrong. The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV). Although anger is not a sin, it’s a signal that calls you to action. It alerts you that something is wrong, and it gives you a desire to respond. Sometimes our response results in a sinful reaction. You’ll need to first look at the root cause of your anger.
Root Causes of Anger
Hurt is a root cause of anger. If someone hurts you, you get angry. Let’s say your significant other was having an affair. (more…)
Is it hard for you to say no? If so, you may need to develop boundaries. Knowing how to say no and when to stand up for yourself can be extremely difficult, especially if you’ve been a people-pleaser in the past. It is like a muscle that needs to be built and exercised. To help you, here are some tips to learn to say no.
- Take Responsibility
You are responsible for your feelings. However, you’re not responsible for someone else’s feelings. If you feel you were not given a voice, you may feel responsible for how other people feel. And it might be hard for you to talk about your feelings. Start with someone you feel comfortable with, and practice disagreeing on small matters. This will help you gain confidence and understand how to own your truth. (more…)
“So then, putting away falsehood let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not make room for the adversary.” – Ephesians 4:25-27
The Bible gives us a great strategy in Ephesians for dealing with our anger in a godly manner. It says there are appropriate times to be angry. In the original language, the word for “anger” in Ephesians 4:25-27 is in the imperative – meaning it is a command. At times, we are commanded to be angry. But it holds in tension that the anger must be expressed in a way that is not sinful or destructive to the person who is offended, or to the group or individual with whom we are angry. (more…)
We have all been there at one point in our lives. Our spouse, kids, boss, neighbor, or friend does or says something that upsets us, and all of a sudden, we feel the pressure begin to build. You start to feel tight around the collar like the dry cleaner put too much starch on it. Heat builds up around the ears, and you feel your face begin to flush. As you continue to think about the action or what was said, it increases. Your heart pounds, and life begins to go in slow motion. You can almost hear NASA control: “T-minus 10, 9, 8…”
What you do or say at this moment may affect the next few minutes, hours, days, or even years. (more…)