Is it time to make amends? Does it seem intimidating? It can be hard to make amends because pride, shame, and embarrassment can get in the way. However, the Bible commands us to make amends. Matthew 5:23 says, “If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar and…someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”
Not only does the Bible require making amends, but so do the 12 Steps. Life Recovery Step 9 says, “We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
Here are some suggestions on what to do—and say—when making amends.
1. Start with a heartfelt apology. (more…)
Much has been said about the “Father Wound.” That is, the effect a poor relationship with Dad can have on a person’s future. On the one hand, I can say without hesitation it’s all true. If there is one single element, I’ve found in common among those I’ve counseled, it’s the “Father Wound.” And yet, now that I’m facing the challenges inherent in fathering a son, I’m painfully aware of the other side of the story.
It was so easy to talk about what fathers should or shouldn’t be. I was new to the game, the proud stepfather of a lovably energetic five-year-old boy. Huge mistakes, mostly mine, hadn’t yet been made. His adolescence was years off, so our days were playful, and I was his hero. No wonder it was so easy for me to look critically at older fathers. I was determined never to become one.
Since then, the boy I loved has become the man who’s forgiven me. (more…)
Some people keep a long list of all the wrongs that people have done. They are still holding others accountable for the debt they owe from years ago. Another way to describe this is unforgiveness.
For the person who holds onto unforgiveness, the one they’re hurting the most is themselves. One must learn to let go and erase that ledger of debt; then, and only then, will they be released from the pain that has held them captive all these years.
Jesus told a story to address this situation:
A king wanted to make his accounts current. So, one of his debtors, who owed him a million dollars, was brought before him. When the man begged for forgiveness, the king felt pity for him. (more…)
“‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!‘” – Matthew 18:21-23
Someone hurt you and they never apologized. You never saw any remorse and it hurt you deeply. By not taking responsibility, they added more pain, making matters worse. So you have decided not to forgive them; after all, you don’t have to forgive since they didn’t apologize—right? Well, actually that is wrong.
There is a lot of misinformation on forgiveness. Many people believe—or have been taught (more…)
It does not matter what you are addicted to.
If you are willing to allow God to make a way, and get into his system of recovery, God will make a way! The strength to defeat your addiction will not come from you but from God. But you have to go to him with your weakness and join his program in order to receive his strength. Here are some tips to help you get started in your journey to recovery! (more…)