Most of us, at one time or another, have wished that we were a different person. These thoughts may come to us when things are not going well, or in times when we are in trouble. We may feel shallow or inadequate in these times. Our behavior may have been offensive or unacceptable to others, and we may be embarrassed or overcome with guilt.
When it comes to making personal changes in our lives, it can be just as difficult. Often the focus is on changing our behaviors and our habits, but these are often not long lasting. More often than not, our efforts are pointed at negative habits and behaviors, and we put a lot of effort into trying to avoid them. It often does not occur to us to ask ourselves what to do to replace these behaviors.
While heart changes are more lasting, they cannot be made all at once. This is the point of Life Recovery – it is a new way of doing life. Recovery is not an event, but a journey. (more…)
A scarcity mindset develops from a feeling of lack. You think there is a scarcity of what you need or think you need. It stems from believing that everything is limited—so you cling to everything from possessions to toxic relationships.
As a child, were your basic needs for food, shelter and love never met? And now that you’re an adult, are you afraid you won’t get these needs met? If so, you may have grown up with a scarcity mindset.
Living with a scarcity mindset is dangerous because, as Proverbs 24:34 says, it will “attack you like an armed robber.” This mindset threatens to destroy everything you hold dear — we become greedy and not generous when feeling like we don’t have all that we need. (more…)
You’ve been sober for months. Everyone in your Life Recovery group says you’ve made significant progress. You’re seeing a counselor once a week, working your recovery program and from the outside, everything seems to be going great. But deep down inside, you wonder if life will ever go back to normal and you doubt that long-term restoration is possible.
Restoration is possible. But first, you must make restitution. Step 9 in Life Recovery states, “We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” When we make restitution, it can bring restoration, if not for the relationship but for you in your recovery. Restitution is making amends to those whom your addiction and behavior have hurt. (more…)
We made a list of all we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. – Step Eight
It’s easy to feel like we want to give up when we get to Step Eight in Life Recovery, right? Many of us struggle in recovery when it comes to forgiveness. Whether we struggle with chemical dependency or codependency, we all need to work through forgiveness if we want to find healing.
Forgiveness is a choice. No matter how much someone hurt us, we can still choose to forgive them. But forgiveness is a one-sided decision that does not have to involve the other person. So we can forgive someone for hurting us, but that does not mean we have to reconcile with them. (more…)
One fatal day, Job lost everything – his wealth, children, and even good health.
Job cried out to God by asking some challenging questions. In Job 3:11, he asked: “Why wasn’t I born dead?” In other words, Job questioned why God allowed him to go through such intense suffering.
Can you relate? Perhaps the unthinkable happened to you. You might have been emotionally, physically, or sexually abused as a child. Or, maybe you were betrayed on the deepest level when your spouse had an affair and abandoned you. Now you turn to food, drugs, sex, shopping, alcohol, or another addiction to numb your pain. You’ve prayed for God to heal you by taking away your pain. (more…)