How to Honor your Parents—Even if You Don’t Think They Deserve It

How to Honor your ParentsUnderstanding how to heal from childhood pain may be one of the biggest challenges an addict faces in recovery because it is often the pain inflicted by their parents that is the most difficult to move on from.

It’s difficult to heal from the wounds of one or both parents. Even worse, if one was abused during their childhood, they may have been taught that failing to honor their abusive parents is a sin. This raises some disturbing questions: How can one honor someone whose actions are anything but honorable? Does this mean that they must stay under their control and yield to their manipulations to please God? The answer, though, to these questions is in the Bible itself. The Bible says, “Honor your father and mother, as the LORD your God commanded you. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” (Deuteronomy 5:16, NLT).

The word honor comes from a root word meaning heavy; it implies placing a weighty value on the relationship. (more…)

We Repeat What We Don’t Repair

We Repeat What We Don’t Repair“A physical wound must be cleaned and medicated rather than ignored.
Emotional wounds also need attention. They don’t simply just fade away.” – Steve Arterburn

Many children are taught to stuff their emotions down. They’re often told to stop crying. And if they do reveal their feelings, anger is the emotion that surfaces, usually in the form of a big tantrum. This might’ve worked as a child—it doesn’t work as an adult. Yet, some adults still haven’t learned to deal with the wounds causing their outbursts.

If someone doesn’t repair the damage done to them, they repeat it. For example, parenting will trigger unprocessed emotions from childhood. Just ask any parent! Adulting, many times, displays the unhealed wounds of the past, even if someone isn’t a parent. Recognizing there is healing to be done is the first step to a better life. (more…)

Forgiveness Lightens the Load

Forgiveness Lightens the LoadBe kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32

What’s one of the hardest words in the Bible to hear? Forgiveness.

It’s painful for most people because it involves releasing someone who has hurt them. However, when someone holds onto their hurts, it is a burden that becomes very heavy. But when people learn to forgive themselves and others, it lightens their load.

Jesus came to provide a way to receive forgiveness for sins. One can be free from the weight of their regrets and mistakes, and yet, they can still struggle with the idea of extending that same release to others. They either want justice or revenge. And the offender should understand the pain they caused those they’ve hurt. (more…)

6 Steps to Recovery From Abuse

6 Steps to Recovery From Abuse

  1. Decide to get help.
    Realizing that a relationship is abusive can be frightening. But deciding to reach out and get help is the first step to healing and transformation. Contact a Christian counselor and begin the process of recovery. Call 800-NEW-LIFE to find a counselor.
  2. Gain understanding and insight.
    It can be confusing for an individual to be the victim of abuse when in a relationship with someone who was supposed to love them. Whether the abuser is a parent or partner, the pain is so great that it can be challenging to be in a healthy relationship. Beginning to know what a loving and healthy relationship consists of is crucial to moving forward in life. It is possible to be in a good relationship after an abusive one, but one must know the difference. Read Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend to discover new insight. (more…)

6 Tips to Dig Out the Roots of Bitterness

6 Tips to Dig Out the Roots of BitternessAt some point, everyone gets victimized. While a victim is not to blame, they must take responsibility for their own healing. If not, a root of bitterness can spring up. Hebrews 12:15 (NLT) offers this warning, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” If bitterness has already taken root, is there any hope? Yes! It’s not too late to dig these dangerous roots out!

  1. Identify the Wound That Planted the Bitterness.
    Bitterness can develop from hurt or a wound that has never healed. Look inside to determine what damage may be causing resentment toward someone or something. (more…)