Some of life’s biggest roadblocks are not the ones seen through the windshield. They are, instead, the roadblocks that fill the rearview mirror. It’s easy to get stuck in the past. But someone who keeps looking in the rearview mirror experiences their pain over and over. However, it is possible to make peace with the past and have hope for the future.
1. Accept the past.
Because every person is an imperfect human being who lacks perfect control over their thoughts, they may allow themselves to become stuck in the past—even though they know better. But the sooner they face reality, the sooner they will be able to move on. (more…)
Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:32
What’s one of the hardest words in the Bible to hear? Forgiveness.
It’s painful for most people because it involves releasing someone who has hurt them. However, when someone holds onto their hurts, it is a burden that becomes very heavy. But when people learn to forgive themselves and others, it lightens their load.
Jesus came to provide a way to receive forgiveness for sins. One can be free from the weight of their regrets and mistakes, and yet, they can still struggle with the idea of extending that same release to others. They either want justice or revenge. And the offender should understand the pain they caused those they’ve hurt. (more…)
Some people keep a long list of all the wrongs that people have done. They are still holding others accountable for the debt they owe from years ago. Another way to describe this is unforgiveness.
For the person who holds onto unforgiveness, the one they’re hurting the most is themselves. One must learn to let go and erase that ledger of debt; then, and only then, will they be released from the pain that has held them captive all these years.
Jesus told a story to address this situation:
A king wanted to make his accounts current. So, one of his debtors, who owed him a million dollars, was brought before him. When the man begged for forgiveness, the king felt pity for him. (more…)
At the point of surrender, one stops doing all that is within their power to do to fix their problems and asks God to give them His power to recover. They stop trying to control other people. Get into recovery. Address childhood traumas. And allow God to heal the wounds of their souls.
Surrendering means no longer fighting, pushing, or justifying—in other words, it is the refusal to stay in denial or blame another. Here’s another way to put it: Surrendering is giving up all excuses for their problems and looking to God as the ultimate resource. A surrendered heart no longer looks for justification to use a substance or have an unhealthy habit.
When someone eventually realizes that the road they’re on is hurting them more than the false comfort and help they’re receiving from it, they realize that to stay on this road is to choose further heartache and destruction. (more…)
We have all been there at one point in our lives. Our spouse, kids, boss, neighbor, or friend does or says something that upsets us, and all of a sudden, we feel the pressure begin to build. You start to feel tight around the collar like the dry cleaner put too much starch on it. Heat builds up around the ears, and you feel your face begin to flush. As you continue to think about the action or what was said, it increases. Your heart pounds, and life begins to go in slow motion. You can almost hear NASA control: “T-minus 10, 9, 8…”
What you do or say at this moment may affect the next few minutes, hours, days, or even years. (more…)