Some of life’s biggest roadblocks are not the ones seen through the windshield. They are, instead, the roadblocks that fill the rearview mirror. It’s easy to get stuck in the past. But someone who keeps looking in the rearview mirror experiences their pain over and over. However, it is possible to make peace with the past and have hope for the future.
1. Accept the past.
Because every person is an imperfect human being who lacks perfect control over their thoughts, they may allow themselves to become stuck in the past—even though they know better. But the sooner they face reality, the sooner they will be able to move on. (more…)
On the outside, we have it all together. But on the inside, we may have secrets that we’ve never told a soul. Our secrets lie below the surface. No one can see them; nevertheless, they are there. These secrets cause us pain and keep us from being fully known.
Secrets have the potential to destroy everything near and dear to us. But when we address our pain and bring our secrets out into the open, we’ll find healing.
Where do we feel pain? (more…)
Take a look around you. Can you see everything in your surroundings? Most of us would say yes. But the truth is, whether your vision is 20/20 or corrected by lenses, the answer is the same: no matter how hard you try, you cannot see everything around you.
The human eye has a blind spot—a small area on the retina, about the size of a pencil eraser, without photoreceptors. We usually aren’t aware of this blind spot because our brains fill in this blank area with the surrounding images, making our visual field appear seamless. But this is an optical illusion. With one eye closed, any object passing through this small field will disappear momentarily. (more…)
An addiction is a lot like being on a merry-go-round, but with the exception that it’s not fun.
You turn to food, gambling, shopping, one-night stands, codependency, hoarding, or something else. The more you turn to your addiction, the more shame you feel and want to numb that feeling. So you go back to the very thing you don’t want to do. Now you’re stuck in the vicious cycle of addiction. And it’s going so fast that you don’t know how to stop.
The apostle Paul put it this way “And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t” (Romans 7:18). To interrupt this cycle of addiction, you must break free from pain, acting out, shame, and relapse that keeps you in bondage.
Here is a more in-depth look at each phase.
Pain — Before you even realize you are dealing with an addiction, you’re in pain. You feel emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational pain. These painful feelings create a longing for you to get rid of the pain. Pain and addiction go hand in hand—they feed off of each other. As your pain increases, your desire for relief increases. Recognizing you are in pain and in need of help can be the first step in recovery. (more…)