The Love Killer of Being Self-Centered

The Love Killer of Being Self-CenteredCan anyone ever completely figure out love? No, because the mysteries of love and how to make it work baffle even the most well-intentioned individual. From parenting to marriage, friendship to business relationships, most find their best efforts often fail, and disappointment finds its way into their most valued sphere of life.

Why is this? It all comes down to a basic orientation in how one views themselves and others. In other words, since Adam, people have been looking out for number one, which is the surest way to destroy a relationship. People tend to think of themselves first instead of the relationship itself. They are trying to get what they want instead of seeing the needs of others. And because of this self-orientation, they destroy all chances of getting what they want and need, which is love. (more…)

Correction vs. Connection: Which One is More Important?

Correction vs. ConnectionWhich One is More Important?What will a person battling addiction do to stop using? The first thing they may do is try to correct their behavior. Therefore, they will white-knuckle it, try another weight loss program, read self-help books, or turn to another addiction.

Most programs, self-help methods, and diets often only focus on one thing: correction. While correcting behavior is very important—including lifestyle changes getting enough rest, exercising, and growing spiritually—very few focus on the one key element that needs to occur for all the other steps: connection!

Without connection with other people, it is almost impossible for anyone battling an addiction to change their daily routine behaviors that have become rituals and patterns. Connection is more important than correction because it brings accountability, support, awareness, and growth and deepens a person’s relationship with God and others. (more…)

Formula for Anger

Formula for AngerSo then, putting away falsehood let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not make room for the adversary.” – Ephesians 4:25-27

The Bible gives us a great strategy in Ephesians for dealing with our anger in a godly manner. It says there are appropriate times to be angry. In the original language, the word for “anger” in Ephesians 4:25-27 is in the imperative – meaning it is a command. At times, we are commanded to be angry. But it holds in tension that the anger must be expressed in a way that is not sinful or destructive to the person who is offended, or to the group or individual with whom we are angry. (more…)

10 Steps to Emotional Freedom

  1. Make amends
    Take steps to correct any problems you may have caused for others and acknowledge to them your regret for causing difficulty in their lives . . . Pursue peace with all men and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. – Heb. 12:14
  2. Make friends with failure
    The fear of failure can hold you back from success. Most successful people have failed many more times than they’ve succeeded.
  3. Don’t say yes when you mean no
    If you feel it is always your “duty” to say yes to a certain person, that may be reflective of an unhealthy relationship.

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Loneliness: 10 Tips for Finding Friends

  1. Take a step of courage and place yourself in situations where you can meet people, like a church, social clubs or book club involving your interests. Say yes to invitations for gatherings you would otherwise find an excuse to not attend.
  2. If you want a friend – be a friend. Get involved in service or ministry opportunities. You will be connecting with others who are serving and who are in need of help.
  3. Proverbs 22:11 says – He who loves with a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend. Keep your motives pure. Avoid manipulation and don’t desire someone’s friendship for social status or other selfish reasons.
  4. Don’t rush it. People desperate for friends often overwhelm potential friends by getting too personal too quickly. This can scare off acquaintances that might otherwise become friends over time. Deep, lasting friendships take time to develop. (more…)