Here’s Why Love is a Choice—Not a Feeling

Faith/Spiritual

Here’s Why Love is a Choice—Not a FeelingThis is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has on one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. – John 15:12-13

What is love?

Theologians, musicians, writers, and even Hollywood directors, have attempted to define, explain, and quantify love throughout history. But there has yet to be a consensus reached so far.

When it comes down to it, however, love is a choice.

A person can choose to act lovingly toward others or selfishly toward them. There is no mistaking that the foundation of genuine love is not feelings that change from day to day, from week to week, and sometimes even from moment to moment. There is no doubt that true love requires effort because it is a decision—one must be willing to do their part to build a lasting relationship. (more…)

The Love Killer of Being Self-Centered

Relationships/Marriage

The Love Killer of Being Self-CenteredCan anyone ever completely figure out love? No, because the mysteries of love and how to make it work baffle even the most well-intentioned individual. From parenting to marriage, friendship to business relationships, most find their best efforts often fail, and disappointment finds its way into their most valued sphere of life.

Why is this? It all comes down to a basic orientation in how one views themselves and others. In other words, since Adam, people have been looking out for number one, which is the surest way to destroy a relationship. People tend to think of themselves first instead of the relationship itself. They are trying to get what they want instead of seeing the needs of others. And because of this self-orientation, they destroy all chances of getting what they want and need, which is love. (more…)

Correction vs. Connection: Which One is More Important?

Faith/Spiritual

Correction vs. ConnectionWhich One is More Important?What will a person battling addiction do to stop using? The first thing they may do is try to correct their behavior. Therefore, they will white-knuckle it, try another weight loss program, read self-help books, or turn to another addiction.

Most programs, self-help methods, and diets often only focus on one thing: correction. While correcting behavior is very important—including lifestyle changes getting enough rest, exercising, and growing spiritually—very few focus on the one key element that needs to occur for all the other steps: connection!

Without connection with other people, it is almost impossible for anyone battling an addiction to change their daily routine behaviors that have become rituals and patterns. Connection is more important than correction because it brings accountability, support, awareness, and growth and deepens a person’s relationship with God and others. (more…)

Formula for Anger

Life Issues

Formula for Anger“So then, putting away falsehood let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry, but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger and do not make room for the adversary.” – Ephesians 4:25-27

The Bible gives us a great strategy in Ephesians for dealing with our anger in a godly manner. It says there are appropriate times to be angry. In the original language, the word for “anger” in Ephesians 4:25-27 is in the imperative – meaning it is a command. At times, we are commanded to be angry. But it holds in tension that the anger must be expressed in a way that is not sinful or destructive to the person who is offended, or to the group or individual with whom we are angry. (more…)

10 Steps to Emotional Freedom

Life Issues

  1. Make amends
    Take steps to correct any problems you may have caused for others and acknowledge to them your regret for causing difficulty in their lives . . . Pursue peace with all men and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. – Heb. 12:14
  2. Make friends with failure
    The fear of failure can hold you back from success. Most successful people have failed many more times than they’ve succeeded.
  3. Don’t say yes when you mean no
    If you feel it is always your “duty” to say yes to a certain person, that may be reflective of an unhealthy relationship.

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