How We Talk to Ourselves

How We Talk to OurselvesI blew it.” “I’m a failure.” “I’ll never amount to much.

Sound familiar? Voices like these are how many people talk to themselves. It is important to note that everyone has self-talk. But sadly, most people talk to themselves negatively.
Every person talks to themselves throughout the day by planning, acting, evaluating, and judging their behavior. Because this is so much a part of a person’s life, it becomes essential that everyone monitors their self-talk just as they would their bank account.

Psychologists say that it takes seven positive comments for someone to erase one negative word. It’s also valid for how a person speaks to themselves—one negative thought such as “I’m unworthy of love,” and there will need to have seven positive self-talk statements to erase it! (more…)

Dangerous Self-Perception

Dangerous Self-PerceptionOne of the dangers of living in bondage to your compulsive behaviors for a while is that you may see yourself as more bad than good. This all-or-nothing type of thinking in life is extreme. When you think this way, every thought—from how you view yourself to how you view other people—can be divided into black-or-white terms. This leaves little room, if any, for the gray areas in-between.

In recovery, this type of self-perception is dangerous because it is not a true view of yourself. You need to see that you aren’t all bad; neither are you all good. If not, it creates a cycle of anxiety, shame, and depression. Having a realistic view of yourself will help you better understand your shortcomings; if you fail, you won’t see it as final. By having a more balanced view of yourself, you can move forward in your recovery. (more…)

The Paralysis of Perfectionism

The Paralysis of Perfectionism“We don’t always have to be strong or pretend to be perfect.” – Steve Arterburn

Perfectionism and addiction go hand in hand. Those of us who struggle with addiction can be extremely hard on ourselves. We don’t give ourselves any room for mistakes, and it’s easy for us to procrastinate or give up because we’re afraid of not being good enough.

When things don’t go perfectly as planned, some of us use it as an excuse to go back to addiction. (more…)

How to Live Shame-Free

How to Live Shame-FreeShame is an emotional terrorist—it holds us hostage. – Steve Arterburn

Do you struggle with negative thoughts about yourself? Maybe you had a difficult childhood. Or, perhaps you were in an abusive relationship. And now you feel like you’re a prisoner to these negative beliefs. Shame, no doubt, is a very dangerous negative emotion—it will hold you in bondage and take away your freedom.

Your thought life determines the direction in which you live your life. The Bible puts it this way, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7, KJV). (more…)