What is justifiable resentment? And more importantly, how can someone get rid of it in their life?
Real resentment over real damage by a real person produces is what is known as justifiable resentment. It becomes such a massive part of a person’s life that it feels like a vulture sitting on top of them—a dark and dangerous presence that affects everything they do.
If the resentment were not justifiable, another person could talk them out of it. A friend could tell them things like:
- “Stop being so negative.”
- “Look at the bright side of things.”
- “Be more positive.”
But none of those things apply to someone with justifiable resentment because they have a reason to be resentful. They were a victim; it was not their fault. Anyone who knows of their terrible ordeal supports their feelings of resentment. Yet, that is the problem because no one questions their feelings. (more…)
At some point, everyone gets victimized. While a victim is not to blame, they must take responsibility for their own healing. If not, a root of bitterness can spring up. Hebrews 12:15 (NLT) offers this warning, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” If bitterness has already taken root, is there any hope? Yes! It’s not too late to dig these dangerous roots out!
- Identify the Wound That Planted the Bitterness.
Bitterness can develop from hurt or a wound that has never healed. Look inside to determine what damage may be causing resentment toward someone or something. (more…)
Is it possible for a person to forgive the unforgivable by someone they once trusted and loved? Yes! Through the grace of God, it’s possible to ignore even the worse of offenses. But because there are many myths out there, it’s essential to understand the truth about forgiveness.
- Forgiveness always involves the moral side of life. It consists of a sense of right and wrong, fairness and justice. It also includes a sense of love, compassion, and mercy. When someone violates a person with a seemingly unforgivable act, at least some of the victim’s values have been broken.
- No matter how just it may seem, revenge can never bring satisfaction. After all, it can never replace what has been destroyed. It also brings the offended down to the level of the offender. Staying with vengeful thoughts is like playing an endless—and painful—video repeatedly. (more…)
Is anger a sin? No, anger itself is not wrong. The Bible says, “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV). Although anger is not a sin, it’s a signal that calls you to action. It alerts you that something is wrong, and it gives you a desire to respond. Sometimes our response results in a sinful reaction. You’ll need to first look at the root cause of your anger.
Root Causes of Anger
Hurt is a root cause of anger. If someone hurts you, you get angry. Let’s say your significant other was having an affair. (more…)
We made a list of all we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. – Step Eight
It’s easy to feel like we want to give up when we get to Step Eight in Life Recovery, right? Many of us struggle in recovery when it comes to forgiveness. Whether we struggle with chemical dependency or codependency, we all need to work through forgiveness if we want to find healing.
Forgiveness is a choice. No matter how much someone hurt us, we can still choose to forgive them. But forgiveness is a one-sided decision that does not have to involve the other person. So we can forgive someone for hurting us, but that does not mean we have to reconcile with them. (more…)